Copywriter – Must be Psycho about getting HIGH conversion numbers (SEO BIG plus)

Can you boil 10 paragraphs of fluff crap content and convert it into a single, catchy sentence that converts?

Can you make my mouth water for beef wellington even if I’m vegan?

Can you explain the basics of quantum mechanics to a 12 year old in prose a la Dr. Suess?

If you were able to honestly answer yes to all the above, move on. We don’t want you.

Just kidding. Of course we want you! But rest assured, you won’t have to do any of the above. Well, maybe the first thing.

We are looking for someone who can write like a fiend on multiple quadshots of espresso to help me produce tons of content quickly. This is a revolutionary product that will be sold worldwide, so you’ll need to be creative, able to reform your writing and adapt to various cultures, etc. Of course, the biggest thing… we need you to be an expert of conversion. So let me know your knowledge of genuine copywriting. Feel free to get technical. I can handle it. If I can’t, I’ll just nod my head and smile as if I understand.

If you’re bilingual (or better), bonus points… please let me know.

Last thing… you need to have attention to detail and be dependable. So, if you are this person, I need you to do one final thing. In your proposal/application/whatever they call it here in Upwork, “Sell me this pen”. If you’re a copywriter or into sales, hopefully you’ll know this reference. If not, it’s ok… Google it. Then do it. Sell me this pen. (Imagine I’m holding up a Mont Blanc Meisterstück Glacier LeGrand Fountain Pen Blue.)

This will be (hopefully, for the right person) a full time gig.

Let’s see what you’ve got!

Please include your CV with past work experience.

Submission Form:  https://forms.gle/sac7dtqcnGGqGLLc9

Note: Please be aware that anyone who is paid for work, even as an independent contractor, can NOT participate in the Avazoo Billion Dollar Raffle, nor can any of your direct bloodline relatives, spouse or civil partner.